there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this just has baby written all over it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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