I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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