'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
