I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
