I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
