Christians are straight up FREAKS
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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