I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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