I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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