It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
