His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
