Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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