Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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