im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize