So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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