You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
