You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
