I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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