The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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