i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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