I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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