I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
