I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's the barista slut.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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