My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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