She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
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I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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