Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
