I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
