We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My bed smells like the plague
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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