at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Randomize
