your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
