I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
