you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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