porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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