I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
