i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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