I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
