Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
