Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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