I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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