She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
