he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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