Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
