It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
