The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she told me i tasted like america
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
