Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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