:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You dont lie about slip and slides
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
