Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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