He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize