when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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