Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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