i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
