I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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