I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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