What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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