so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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