his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
