dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
