sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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