Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
