Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
